When the Dust Settles
by Fairady
Summary: Sometimes you're too busy trying to stay alive to worry about reasons. Junior x Allen


Disclaimer: I don't own or make money off of Xenosaga. I humbly ask that you not sue me, and please don't make the next game sucky. You're two for two right now, please don't ruin your streak. 

Warning: Yaoi, drabble. Don't like? Then don't read.

Notes: For the 30 Kisses theme. Strange, when did things turn so serious? Anyway, this is written entirely from Allen's POV, and Allen doesn't know everything that's going on. He's even forgotten some things. That's completely normal in this type of situation. So when you read this all you know is what Allen knows, or at least what he thinks he knows.

Theme: #16 'invincible; unrivaled'

When the Dust Settles  
by fairady

* * *

"Allen."

He turned around. The faint scent of smoke filled the room, the circuits were burning. Someone must not be paying attention to the complicated wiring and was burning something important.

"Allen."

He turned to find out who it was and give them a thorough lecture. These were prototypes, you didn't go around making careless mistakes like that with them. They were already behind schedule as it was. They couldn't afford to take the time to build a new circuit.

"Allen!"

He turned to find the person responsible.

"Allen!"

He turned around.

"Allen!"

He turned...

"Please, Allen!"

He opened his eyes.

MOMO was above him, her eyes scrunched shut as she coughed. Allen reached up to pat her back but dropped it when pain lanced down his side causing him to cry out.

"He's awake! Don't move," MOMO leaned over him stopping him from moving any further. "The medics'll be back in a bit with a stretcher. So don't move."

Allen reached up, careful not to jar anything that might take objection to being moved this time. It was alarming how much of his body fit that profile. He tried to talk but was prevented from speaking by something. Was that an oxygen mask?

MOMO grasped his hand with a smile, "Don't worry, everything's going to be alright."

It was fascinating how his hand didn't hurt at all, not even when he saw the torn and bleeding skin, the muscles burnt and bones exposed. A screen, it had something to do with the screen. He couldn't remember though. It was so hard to think with the floor spinning out from under him.

"Allen?" MOMO was so far away and she looked so worried. "Ziggy!"

* * *

Allen opened his eyes but it was too dark to see anything. He groaned and turned onto his stomach letting his aching head rest on the cold and wet floor. Lightning briefly lit the room up before plunging back into darkness. Allen closed his eyes tightly and whimpered. He didn't want to see anything ever again.

He could hear shouting from outside. He couldn't make out any words and the voice wasn't familiar to him. It was all cut short with a sickening crunch. Allen kept his eyes shut. He didn't want to see, he didn't want to know what he knew. He didn't want to see what was coming to kill him.

* * *

"Oh my God."

The lights were blinding him but the whispered words had caught his attention. The woman was pressed up against the wall, both hands covering her face. A hand tilted his head back drawing a faint moan from him.

"Don't move," someone said.

Allen blinked up at the hand's owner vaguely worried that he didn't know his name. He opened his mouth to ask... to ask-

* * *

More shouting. Allen had the feeling that it had been going on for a long while. He was getting tired of hearing it though. He should tell them to stop it but when he opened his eyes all he saw was blue.

Blue eyes, blue hair, all blue.

But that was wrong, very wrong. Allen was about to say so but a gentle hand pressed against his lips. So very gentle and so very heavy. It's weight dragged his eyelids down and he couldn't remember what he'd been about to say.

* * *

His throat was on fire. 

It burned when he tried to swallow and he grimaced. He really needed a drink. Allen opened his eyes and looked around the dim room. The full glass of water beside his bed caught his attention and he reached one stiff arm out to pick it up. It took both of his hands to keep the glass from slipping through weak fingers as he gratefully drained it.

The cool water was a blessing. He let the glass drop to the mattress and laid back, he was far too tired to put it back in it's proper place. Perhaps a short nap was in order.

* * *

Allen woke up in the recovery room of a hospital. It was the first time in his life he'd ever been in one. Considering what he'd been doing for the past few years he took it as a good thing. The fact that he really didn't know why he was there wasn't such a good thing. He decided to ignore that for now. He sat up feeling the stiffness of his muscles but no pain or tiredness. It seemed like his nano therapy was complete. He wondered how long it'd taken for him to recover from it, he had the vague impression that it'd been a while.

The room was the same one he vaguely recalled waking up in a few times before with the redhead fast asleep being the only new addition. Junior slumped against the table beside the bed, head at an angle that had to be painful. Allen managed to swing his legs over the side of the bed and shook the other awake.

"What?" Junior muttered without opening his eyes. His left hand groped around the table before grasping a full glass of water and tossing it behind him. "G'way."

Allen winced as the glass shattered. His voice croaked horribly as he said, "I was kinda hoping to drink that."

Blue eyes blinked open and regarded him blankly for a few seconds. Junior sat up and scrubbed his hands across his face muttering, "Sorry, I'll get another one. I just thought it was Shelley again."

Allen nodded content to let his voice rest as he watched Junior stretch before getting up. The blonde engineer leaned heavily against his knees and closed his eyes. He wanted to know what the date was, how long he had been out. But that could wait, he really just wanted to know what had happened. He remembered...

_/"Hey," Stephan said. "I'm going to get lunch, did you want anything?"_

_"No," Allen looked up from his report at the engineer passing him before turning back. "Thanks anyway."_

_He'd get something after he finished the report. Their deadline was coming fast and he didn't have much to show for his project. Maybe he should just skip lunch and-_

_Smoke, Allen froze at the first hint of the scent. "The circuits!"_

_Allen jumped out of the chair and turned around./_

"Here," Junior passed him a new glass before retaking his seat. Allen drank it slowly letting it sooth his dry throat. When he placed the empty glass on the table Junior asked, "How do you feel?"

"Uh, fine," Allen answered automatically before actually taking the time to consider the question. "Well, I feel a little stiff and off, but I think that's normal after nano treatment. Right?"

"Good," Junior nodded once before reaching forward and fisting both hands in Allen's shirt yanking him forward. "You idiot! What the hell were you thinking!"

Allen swallowed uneasily as he stared into Junior's furious eyes, "Would now be a bad time for me to ask what happened? Because I really can't recall much right now."

"What happened?" Junior repeated sharply. "What happened was you almost got your dumb ass killed! You should've just let the damn thing explode, not try to stop it. You're not invulnerable, the Durandal could've taken the damage just fine!"

_/The circuits were burning...no, that wasn't it. It was one of the weapons systems. Something had gone wrong with the new type of ammunition they were testing. Some sort of inherent flaw in the material most likely, but no one thought of that because their first thoughts had been to check the circuits. But the smell...and he'd turned.../_

"No," Allen said quietly. Distantly he felt a small shiver start to creep up his spine. "I couldn't let it explode. There was no way we could have evacuated fast enough. Some of my people would have died if I didn't try to do something."

_/The shield was down. Oh shit, it wasn't going to be enough. Why had they put that much charge in this thing? Who had put that much in! Shit, shit, shit...and he'd turned.../_

"Junior," Allen blinked and tried to focus on the face in front of him. It was harder to do than it should be. "What happened to Stephan?"

Taken aback by the calm question Junior released Allen letting his hands fall down. The anger seemed to drain from him as he said, "I'm sorry Allen. The doctors didn't get to him fast enough. Everyone else is fine, but the two of you were the most seriously injured."

_/He'd turned around./_

He couldn't stop shivering.

"I don't think there's anything to be sorry about," Allen said to the hands curled around his forearms.

It was stupid not to see it before. He'd known something wasn't quite right. He should've- Allen shuddered.

"What do you mean?" Junior asked. His hands came back up to rest soothingly on the blonde's shaking shoulders.

Allen met the other's concerned gaze, "Stephan was in charge of that weapon system. It was his responsibility to ensure it was safe at all times. None of the safety features were on, the most explosive ammo was loaded into it, and he was almost out of the lab before I realized what was going on."

Junior went very still and his hands squeezed tighter. "And?"

"I started to get the lab evacuated and got the shield down," Allen closed his eyes. The memory was still a bit hazy. "I turned around..."

_/Stephen slammed him back against the shield hard and he gasped as his breath forced it's way out. The other man reached around for the control panel his eyes...his eyes...Allen fisted one hand in Stephen's hair yanking hard as he pushed with his body turning them around. Stephen still tried to reach the screen, but Allen's arms were longer. The screen.../_

"I don't know," Allen dropped his head down against Junior's shoulder. The other immediately wrapped his arms around him. "Stephen wanted that explosion. I just don't know why."

_/Stephen slammed him back against the shield. Allen gasped, he couldn't hear over the rushing of blood in his ears. The other man's lips moved but Allen couldn't hear it over his adrenaline pumped heart./_

"That just makes me even more sorry," Junior muttered into Allen's hair. "Now I don't have someone to shoot out an airlock and use as target practice."

"He said something," It was important. He knew it was important, but he just didn't know what it was. "What did he say? I can't remember it. I-I can't-"

"Allen don't. We'll figure it out later alright?" Junior's arms tightened as he held him and whispered, "Later."


End file.
